Blog 11: BIG HEARTS, BREAK EASILY

Sometimes I catch myself being ashamed of how much I've cared for people, but then I have to remind myself that they lost someone who cared, not me. Caring- it's typically difficult for idiosyncratic individuals to admit because caring is being vulnerable, and being vulnerable is allowing yourself to be completely open and exposed. Prepared to get hurt, prepared to give all of yourself to someone who may never reciprocate the same energy or effort or emotions towards you that you have given them. Showing someone how much you value them, despite their faults, without knowing if they have the same intentions towards you is terrifying. I tend to stop and think, "Why do I continue to feel embarrassed for caring?" But once I continue to think about it, I held empathy, I held love. How could one be so embarrassed of something so wonderful? If anything, I find myself contemplating the embarrassment that I should hold for them, for they did not care, they did not treat me in the same way that I had treated them. They did not respect me or my time, they didn't reciprocate the love that I had given them, they truly didn't care about me, and that ... that is on them. I used to try to change the way I felt, push all my feelings down somewhere and ignore them all but ultimately, you cannot change your heart just because someone failed to appreciate the value of it; you can only choose who deserves the love that you give. Instead of fearing the copious amounts of love that you convey, find comfort in the fact that you have so much love to give, and that in itself is a wonderful thing, and be wise with who you give your heart to. Caring for someone, giving them your all without knowing or expecting anything in return is one of the most beautiful things. It is truly better to have cared and have gotten hurt than to not have cared at all. Embrace who you are. Love who you can. Open your heart. Big hearts break easily, but they also love immensely. And that is the loveliest thing.