Oftentimes, we fail to realize the way we feel about one person will never correlate with how we feel about another. Every person is different. Therefore, every connection we make will be different too. This isn’t to say that both connections aren’t worthwhile connections, they’re just different. Perhaps that's okay? Maybe we’re supposed to feel differently in some relationships versus others. Maybe it not only depends on the person but the place and the timing- maybe the way you feel about someone depends on you- on who you are and what phase of your life you’re currently in. I believe that you can hold a lot of love and empathy for everyone in your life. However, while it can be the same amount of love, it may feel different. Suppose you’re in love with someone and you’re completely infatuated and consumed with compassion for that person, and you feel good. In fact, you feel more than good- you feel wonderful. And you’ve experienced this wonderful feeling in the past but not to the same degree or at the same level. Even in this relationship, nothing will diminish the one you were in before, nor the feelings you held for that person. It’s just different. Every human is unique. We all have our own interests, hobbies, passions, flaws, etc. You will never feel the same connection with one person as you will with another. Maybe something similar? Something may seem familiar? Though, the connection will be different. And, honestly, I find that beautiful. A sense of intimacy comes from being able to develop a connection with each individual in your life, and feeling connected to them each in your own way. There will be a piece of everyone you love in you always. We meet people for a reason. Some part of us never stops loving someone we’ve loved, amicably or romantically. You can love everyone differently. What a wonderful thing that is.

Being alone vs. Feeling alone- a juxtaposition. Being alone is a state of being while feeling alone is an emotional feeling of loneliness and isolation, even in a group of people. Being alone isn’t a negative thing. It allows us to reflect, to appreciate ourselves and our being. Loneliness is often, but not always as a result of being alone. I’ve spent years feeling completely isolated and alone despite being surrounded by people who loved me. Being alone and feeling alone are two very different things. It is completely possible to be alone and not feel any sense of loneliness whatsoever. When I am physically alone in the state of being by myself, I feel most like me. In fact, sometimes I prefer it. I am able to focus on myself.  I spend my time bettering my mind and my soul and my body rather than wasting it comparing myself to others. Do you love who you are when you’re alone? Oftentimes it’s easier to truly get to know ourselves (our likes, dislikes, etc.) when we begin to focus on ourselves. Being alone doesn’t necessarily equate to having no one, it just allows us to better understand our own mind, thoughts, mannerisms, and behaviors. Many of us struggle with finding that balance between having time to ourselves and feeling isolated from others. It’s a difficult notion to grasp and to get accustomed to but once you do, having time to yourself can be wonderful. It’s easier to start off with increments of your day. Many of us aren’t used to spending time with ourselves and sometimes our thoughts can become overwhelming. Give yourself an hour or so to do something you enjoy, whether it’s reading a new book or journaling or simply having a cup of tea, etc. Use that time to get to know yourself. Reintroduce yourself to things you used to enjoy, maybe an old hobby or activity. Show yourself that being alone can be enough and that it doesn’t need to lead to feelings of loneliness. I haven’t yet mastered this concept but little by little everyday I am learning to feel at peace with myself and my own company. While I love spending time with others, I know that it’s okay to spend time with myself. Learning about my vast interests, expanding my mind, trying new things. I, as well as you, are lucky to get to discover things about ourselves. At the end of the day, you are your longest and most significant relationship. You will always be there for yourself. And so, it’s important that we get to know anything and everything that we possibly can about who we truly are and what we love. You can be alone without feeling alone, and that’s a beautiful thing.

We, as humans, in today’s modern society are surrounded by norms in which everyone’s obsessed with comparison and are fueled by jealousy. This has led to a toxic mindset about productivity. There’s this counter-productive nature that comes with our desire to be productive all the time. Our obsession with productivity is draining. You don’t have to always be doing something for it to be considered productive. I often convince myself that if I’m not continually doing things or if I have a break in my schedule then I’m not being productive enough. I find myself comparing my everyday life and routine to someone I’ve seen on social media and if I’m not doing as much as them I feel worthless. But here’s the thing-- your worth is not based on your productivity. The idea of perceiving yourself simply based on your personal productivity is in fact arbitrary. What makes us unique is not determined by what we check off of our “to do list,” it is determined by who we are as individuals. I truly believe that everyone can have their own version of being productive. For some, getting out of bed in the morning can be a difficult task so when they do so and get ready for the day, they feel productive. This is not to say that spending your day in the comfort of your own home isn’t just as fulfilling. If staying at home and doing your own thing satisfies you and brings contentment then I say go for it. You’re allowed to do whatever completes you, it’s your life. No one knows what you’re going through and your life is your own, there’s no need to compare your schedule to someone else’s. It's easy to look for external things to make us feel worthy, but this approach leads to being constantly on the lookout for the next best thing, but never achieving anything. We need to separate our worth from our productivity. We need to view ourselves and our lives without the incessant need to compare whatever we’re doing to others because at the end of the day, you’ll never feel fulfilled if you’re constantly stuck in a cyclical cycle of comparability. You determine your own productivity just as anyone else can determine theirs. Focus on yourself and your life. You’re doing great. Take it easy.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the extreme spectrum of a roller coaster I've experienced throughout my life. I've had my years where I was on the bathroom floor sobbing and screaming, convinced that I wasn’t going to make it past that night. Occasionally, life was quite quiet and calm, but sometimes that wasn't exactly peace. For the past months, I've been feeling pretty calm, good. But I know that I can wake up tomorrow feeling completely different. Tired and worn down. And with this, I’m working on loving every phase of myself. Living in the moment, accepting who I am now, rather than wishing I could be anything or anyone else. I think this is something very few of us have mastered the art of. It’s hard to love each phase of you when you haven’t yet taken the time to learn and discover things about yourself. Many of us just keep looking and striving for more to improve ourselves and our being but with this we don’t truly get to accept and love who and where we are. There’s this normality behind wanting more and changing, I get this. We, as humans, are not meant to stay stagnant forever. For we are ever-changing. While it’s perfectly acceptable to want to keep progressing yourself and your mind, we need to appreciate who we are and where we’re at. If not, we’ll never be satisfied with ourselves. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. And you’re who you’re meant to be, at least at this given point in your life. You aren’t behind, you don’t need to catch up to anyone. It’s your life, do as you please. Live it up for you, not for anyone else. Don’t consistently focus on how to be better or different to fit into any social conformity or standard that someone has set for you. You are meant to be here and you deserve to do things for yourself. Love every phase of where you are. Appreciate your mind, your body, your soul. And most importantly, LOVE WHO YOU ARE IN EVERY PHASE. Because I promise you, you are doing just fine. Stop dismissing who and where you are for your future self. It’s a cyclical cycle of suffering. Your future and what it will look like isn’t guaranteed. The person you are now and the phase you’re currently in is perfect. You are wonderful. Be there for yourself.

Lately, I’ve found myself stuck.   More specifically, stuck in my head. I’m unable to write and finish my thoughts out in the way I typically do. And with this, I’m unable to figure out why I’m in this position. I typically try to figure these things out myself. But now Monday is upon us and I have no set blog, just a million unfinished thoughts. So instead of trying to throw together some meaningful message on how to stay true to yourself, I decided I’m going to write about being stuck in your head. Because that’s where I am and I’m sure some of you may feel the same way. Things like this tend to bother me. When I cannot escape this stagnant feeling, I overworry or feel weak for not being able to do so. As an alternative, I'm trying to cherish the moments I'm in, even when they're not enjoyable. It's true, I am stuck in my head right now. I can't seem to get out of it and I can’t understand why but I’m alive and I’m okay. I have people who I love and who love me in return. I get to write when I can and share it when I feel like it and I am here. I’m in this little town, a part of this big planet full of billions of people and even when I don’t feel like it, I’m significant. I still matter. And even when things get difficult, you can still enjoy the moment you’re in. You can make mistakes, you can feel stuck, you can not know what’s next for you. But you can still love where you’re at. You’re fully capable of doing so. Love your mind, even when it struggles at times. Even when you feel stuck. We’re here because we’re here. And I think that’s okay. You’re going to be okay. Everything happens for a reason and you won’t be stuck forever.

Make peace with what didn’t happen. What wasn’t there for you, wasn’t meant for you. Over the course of my life, I have always felt pressured to conform to someone tolerant. It was always better to keep the peace than to start an argument. And in some cases, I agree. It's okay occasionally to keep the peace, but you can't just keep the peace around you, what about the peace within you? Your feelings matter too, don’t close yourself off just for other people’s comfort. You’re allowed to speak about situations that negatively impact you. The peace can be broken if it's tearing you apart. Avoid causing yourself stress just to relieve everyone else's. There’s no glory in self sacrifice. Anything that costs you your mental health is too expensive, look elsewhere. I know it’s easier said than done, I get it. Speaking up when you’ve been taught that it’s better to stay silent is a difficult task. But as soon as you realize that it’s okay to speak on what’s negatively affecting you, that’s when your new life begins. Protect your peace and let it out. Give yourself permission to let go of what weighs heavily on your soul. You carry it all so well, but that does not mean that it is yours to hold. You don’t have to explain. It is not your job to make people understand. You know your heart. It is not your responsibility to give all you have until you are worn out and worn down... you must make your own happiness a priority, even if that means losing people who may have never really appreciated you. Let go of negative people, make time for yourself, and do things for you. It’s time to protect your peace.

Love is all around you. You are surrounded by love. Love is watching the people around you love. Love is having people that you can trust and rely on. Friends are love. Love can look like a lot of different things and it can take on many different forms. You don’t have to be in love to feel love. Love isn’t strictly confined by the depths of romanticism. It’s not dependent on being in love. Many of us have falsely fabricated this idea of love in our heads. We’ve convinced ourselves that love equates to this ideal romanticized version of partnership rarely seen out of romance novels and movies. When in reality, that is not the case. Love can be anything and everything that surrounds you. You can sense it from hundreds of different people and not just romantically. I find love from hundreds of different people every day, and a hundred different things. Every single person I’m surrounded by, they add a bit to the love that I feel. All my friends from all over the world add a bit. My family, my acquaintances, my dogs, etc. Every day, they show me that I am surrounded by love. So instead of one main piece in the middle of the jigsaw of love, it loads little pieces. A large fraction of my life is made up of little bits. And if you look for it, love actually is all around you. These little bits aren't particularly small. My identity as an individual is shaped by many things that may seem insignificant at first. Some things are so common that you may not even realize how much they equate to love in your daily life. Things such as a visit to your favorite coffee shop or reading a book. That’s love. These minuscule things fit into my life (my jigsaw) and suddenly I’m full of pieces. Pieces of my being, the core of who I am is this big puzzle that is composed of an almost overwhelming amount of love. Oftentimes, when we view the romanticized concept of love, we struggle to see the other aspects of love we are all facing each day. Despite not being in love, I witness love often. The love I feel around me, whether it's through the people or the things that make me who I am, has a way of making me feel whole. I am love. You are love. We’re all love. Featuring a number of pieces that are carefully crafted to fit a being such as yourself. Similarly, I am nothing without love, just as I am nothing without air. Love is a part of us all and we will always be loved. Whether we realize that or not. 

To say that I, an eighteen-year-old, have accepted and understood the full concept and emotional stages of grief would be foolish. However, I have suffered a great deal of loss in my life and have endured a significant amount of suffering as a result of it. Each person's experience with grieving the death of someone they cared for so deeply is different, so I cannot tell you when it gets better or when it stops hurting. I understand the agonizing, gut-wrenching feeling you get when someone mentions someone who has passed for the first time and you find yourself fighting back tears; I've been there. On several occasions. I’m not here to claim that I’m an expert at grief and all things that come with it. This is because I truly don’t believe that we all handle grief the same. Despite experiencing the same loss, we could all perceive and interpret it differently. I’m no stranger to death. I’ve grown up around it, we experience it every day. Whether it’s someone we’ve known and loved or someone we’ve never met. It’s all around us. There’s this conception of death that has stuck with me for a while now. You can visualize a wave in the ocean. When sunlight passes through it, you can see it, measure it, and see how it refracts. It's there. Seeing it, knowing what it is. It’s a wave. Then it crashes into the shore, and it's gone. But the water is still there. It was just a different way for the water to be, for a moment. The wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it’s supposed to be. We’re all here for a specific amount of time and we impact/have an affect on everyone and everything that we come across. And then one day it’s done, we’ve experienced whatever we were supposed to experience and we’ve lived. Time heals everything. Soon enough the pain and the grief won’t feel so heavy and even though you may carry it with you, it won’t hurt as much.  But before I go I wanted to leave you all with this- remind everyone you love that you love them. All the time. It doesn’t matter if you think it may be annoying or overbearing, I swear to you, it’s not. All anyone ever wants to be is loved. We all want to be reminded of it and we want to feel it too, even if we don’t feel as though we deserve it or that we’re capable of being loved. So tell whomever you love that you love them, time and time again. Every day, several times a day even. It’s the most beautiful feeling in the world. I promise you it’s not obnoxious or repetitive. Being told that someone loves you and that you’re cared for is the loveliest feeling of all. I love you all.

My thoughts lately have been centered around life and everything it has to offer. All of it adds up to one full life. Finding happiness in all seemingly small things is crucial because they equate to so much. Things may seem fleeting and insignificant, but they have profound meaning, whether they are flowers growing in unexpected places or the smell of rain when it pours. The more I love each little thing, the larger it becomes. Change is an inevitable part of growing up. Throughout change, I believe it's imperative to focus on minuscule moments or things that make your life more enjoyable. If you look closely, you'll find joy is not difficult in the midst of change and adapting to a new situation in life. This minimal change doesn't have to be overwhelming. Over time, however, I have noticed that each small thing contributes to a larger feeling. Despite the bad, life is beautiful. Take a deep breath and immerse yourself in it. Love what you can. Love hard and unapologetically. That's all that matters, finding joy in your life. In these brief moments of nothing, I am able to find everything. And with that, I feel you should too. I’d like to end this off with a list of things that I, personally, find joy in. I hope that you can find joy in them too. - Dancing in the rain - Seeing people smile when they see something or someone they love - When people randomly break out into song - Laughing at your own jokes - The comfortable, relieving feeling you feel when you get into bed after a long day - Journaling - Reading your favorite books a hundred times over and still feeling as though it was the first time you picked that book up - Hugs - Meeting new people - Small yet meaningful interactions - Flowers - When someone remembers small details about you - Fall - Holiday movies - The smell of my grandmother’s chocolate chip waffles - Borrowing my best friend’s clothing and being reminded of her whenever I wear them - Nightlife - Dogs who greet you on your afternoon walk - Running into my old teachers - Campfires - Listening to classical music when I’m baking And the list is never-ending. There’s so much beauty in life and we often tend to miss every little, seemingly insignificant detail because we’re so caught up in all of the wars that we’re going through. For once I’d like for us all to stop and enjoy every little thing, it’s the small things that equate to a full life.

I sincerely believe that if you find the right person, the timing will never be wrong. For the right person, it will always be the right time. No matter what, your person will stick by you. Through the good, the bad, the ugly- their presence will be assured. While there may be some exceptions to this statement, typically timing won’t be an issue for the correct person. The truth is, the people we meet at the “wrong time” are actually just the wrong people. People are timeless. The right person will make you want to throw away your original plans and follow them into the unknown without looking back. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter where you are as long as you’re with the right person. The right person won’t make you question whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. In the same way, they’ll just know. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along. That’s how it should be. That’s what it needs to be. When you are with the right person, time falls away. It doesn't matter whether they fit into your schedule, because they become part of it. They become the backbone of it. Once you make your happiness your priority, you can work around the other stuff as long as they contribute to it. Sometimes we care for someone who won’t ever reciprocate the same energy or effort that we continuously give them. This needs to stop now. You need to start caring for yourself in the way that you used to care about them. Give to yourself instead. You deserve all the love and patience that you so graciously gave to that person. Don't abandon yourself anymore, come back to yourself. Life’s too short to miss someone who doesn’t miss you back or to care for someone who doesn’t care for you. You’ll find the right person. Your person. The timing will forever be appropriate with the correct individual. For now, find happiness within yourself. Everything will fall into place. 

Despite my best intentions, I have learnt not to fight for people who aren't interested in staying in my life. You can’t force someone to stick around forever, no matter how hard you try. People come and people go. That’s how things are going to be. Now what you choose to do with those who stay, that’s what matters. But with those who left, it’s their loss. You’ve done everything that you could do. You’ve said everything that you could say. You’ve been patient, you’ve waited. You’ve given them parts of you, parts you’ve never given to anyone else before. You’ve compromised in ways you never imagined yourself compromising. Now is when you draw the line. Enough. When I think about the enormity of this earth and the millions of people you could possibly meet. I think of the people I have met and how crazy that is, all of the humans in this world and somehow for some reason you ended up with them. And I think you should cherish that in a way. The people in your life are merely a result of chance. I believe that chance occurs for a reason.  Letting go of what let go of you will never discredit the good. Sometimes people are only meant to be in seasons of your life, not forever. It’s okay to let them go, do as they did to you but not in spite, do it for your wellbeing. Do it for you. And when someone lets go of you, it’s important to remember that it was never truly about you. We all face our own battles, we’re all going through our own things. Sometimes someone lets you go simply because they have too much going on. Let them go. If something or someone is meant to be yours, it will be yours. As for now, let go of what is no longer serving you. It’ll feel so liberating, I promise.

Personally, I genuinely believe that it doesn't matter how you got to this point as long as you're happy. If you had to stop communicating with pessimistic individuals, that is entirely acceptable. If prioritizing yourself over others allowed you to persist and ultimately find happiness, I am so glad you made that choice. You deserve to be happy. All the time. You deserve to find joy in even the slightest, insignificant things, and you should only be among individuals who uplift you. Leaving does not imply that you didn’t love. Sometimes the absence of joy in which we experience around others indicates that the relationship is unhealthy and not meant to be. You are entitled to putting yourself first; choosing yourself over another person does not equate to selfishness. Allow yourself to love and support that person from a distance. With distance comes clarity.  Free yourself from all the things that don’t contribute to your happiness and well-being. I know this world can be a little much at times, and it wears you down, but even here you are free to let go of those things and people who no longer fit you. I am a very strong believer that whoever is meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, regardless of how far they wander. Allow yourself to distance from those who weigh heavy on your soul, you’ll realize a lot. Familiar doesn’t mean forever, prioritize yourself. You deserve to feel your best. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. People frequently perceive any act of improving oneself as selfish if it involves leaving another person or a place. But in my opinion, leaving a circumstance or a relationship when one is unhappy is beneficial for both parties. Only by stepping outside of your comfort zone can you begin to grow. Finding happiness and becoming a stronger, confident individual only happens when you do what is right for oneself. You are choosing to concentrate on what you deserve by making the righteous choice to leave. You are your one constant. You will always be reliant on yourself. People come and people go. Being content with who you are and where you are in life is a prerequisite for making the most of it. Focus on you. You are not selfish for putting yourself first. 

Sometimes beautiful people come into your life for only a season at a time, simply to show you that good people exist. They come to remind you that love is worth fighting for, that there are people in this world who will see you for who you truly are. They come to teach you how to love yourself, to nudge you in the right direction. And oftentimes, these people leave just as quickly as they came. Let them go with love. They were never yours to keep. And I know it’s scary to lose people who were never truly yours, but with each person that comes into your life comes a lesson. Temporary people teach you permanent lessons. Whether they were a positive asset to your life or a negative one, they taught you something. You were left with a piece of them. You can and you will always learn something from anyone who crosses your path. With each new encounter comes growth, it can be painful or leave you with a feeling of bliss, but despite what you felt, it all classifies as growth. It’s all beautiful because it brings evolution within yourself. Learn your lesson and permanently remove these people from your life. They benefit from the implementation of you and crave your attention. The worst thing you can do to these individuals is to act towards them as if they are so inconsequential that you don't even acknowledge their existence. Grow from their absence. The people who are meant to be in your life, in your presence, will be there. They’ll stick by you, always. No matter the distance, they’ll do whatever it takes to be a part of your life. Those are your permanent people. They’re the people who continuously teach you lessons about yourself and your life yet stick around to keep evolving with you, rather than without you. They’ll be there when the temporary people leave, they’ll hold your hand and walk you through it. They’ll persist with you through all the sleepless nights and bring you coffee, just the way you like it, for the early mornings. Hold onto them. Those are your permanent, forever people. So yeah, temporary people teach you permanent lessons, they always have and they always will. Learn from them and grow from them. But permanent people, they’ll guide you through every lesson, love every phase of you, and continuously grow aside you. And that is the most wonderful thing in itself. 

The world is a better place with you in it. I’ll say it time and time again because it’s true, you’re meant to be here. Yes, it gets better. Yes, it starts hurting less. Eventually, you move on. Trust me when I tell you that these are not empty words. It took a lot for me to be able to say them without getting that bitter, bleak taste of fabrications on my tongue. But I'm finally here. Breathing, living, existing in this strange, new reality in which I'm stronger than everything that attempted to break me. Where good memories will always outweigh the bad. And all that had the power to ruin me have simply become benign. I know what it feels like to constantly think about lying face down in a stream somewhere, reflecting on all the different ways to end this empty sort of aching. I hope you know that even though it feels as though you can’t ever seem to get this life right, you can. And you will. You will get there. Give yourself some time. I used to try to forgive myself for being here, whatever that means. I couldn’t stand to talk about it. The grief, heavy and loud, sitting on my chest each night. I hadn’t been happy long enough to know what it truly felt like. And every time I felt even an ounce of joy, I knew it was only a moment. A deliberately curated moment, crafted to be consumed but not to last. I knew that I wasn’t going to continue to feel that bliss forever, eventually it would be over. Eventually it would turn back to drabness. It's important to recognize bliss for what it is. Prerequisites are not required for joy. Peace exists in a fleeing moment. It is not a new constant, and it is not anticipating your arrival. Acknowledge your anguish for what it is. For, like contempt, it is continuously passing through. Anger is not brewing within you, waiting to be released. It consumes and depletes you, as you should allow your pleasure. Everything you feel is temporary, whether it’s good or bad. No feelings last forever. The pain will subside. I know that, as of right now, everything has become a habit that you feel as though you have to maintain. One step at a time, one day at a time. You breathe and exist- but you don't live. And that’s okay. It’s okay to take it slow. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to do whatever you need to do in order to get back to your happiest self. It may take months, it may take years, but I can assure you- NONE OF THESE FEELINGS LAST FOREVER. And I need you to stay. Stay because you’re loved, even when you feel unloveable. Stay because you are more than your bad thoughts. You are not and will never be alone, no matter how much you feel it. The necessary beauty in life is in giving yourself to it completely, let yourself feel and pour yourself into your life. Everything will resolve itself and work out in the end. You’re doing more than enough, value yourself for simply being. You will make it. I love you and I’m here.

There’s this misconception about how you always have to know your next step or what you want to achieve. Recently I’ve started to realize that I am constantly stuck in this place, in between my future and my past and I'm not sure which one I want more. Most of the time, part of me just wants to throw myself into the future and yet the other part wants me to hurl myself into my past. The issue with this is that I have not yet registered where I am currently. In order to reach where I desire to be in the future, I need to accept and love where I am momentarily. We squander our current time obsessing over who and what we want to remodel ourselves into, which has allowed us to become lost in the process. We have a right to become acquainted with this self. I keep asking myself who I desire to be when I don't yet fully understand who I am as of right now. I haven't given myself enough time to really appreciate myself, my passions, my mind, etc. Therefore I cannot claim that I adore where I am or this version of me, given how little I know about myself. The desire for a more positive experience, for a different life/version of who you are personally is itself a negative experience. The acceptance of one's negative experience or being at this current moment is itself a positive experience. Life becomes peaceful when you stop dwelling on the past, about what could have been or what you could have done differently. It’s important to focus on now. Stop feeling embarrassed or ashamed about the things that make you happy and stop comparing yourself/your life to anybody else’s, you are beautiful and so is where you’re at. You mustn’t waste your time looking for something else, something better, something that has already run its course. It’s time to put yourself first. Love where you are. Appreciate where you’re at and who you’ve become. And never take this for granted, because you don’t know when this phase of your life will end. Don’t allow yourself to miss another second of it. We are sent exactly what we are ready for at the exact time we need it in our lives. Everything whether it’s in the past, present, or in the future will be okay. I think it’s time to love where we are.

What if, and hear me out, people DO love you. There’s a coworker who loves when they get to work a shift with you, even if you don't talk. You have a cousin who's relieved when they see you at family gatherings, someone who looks to you as their "cool cousin" in silence. The classmate who believes you have great taste but is too shy to compliment. Your childhood friends who never forgot. The waiter you tipped during a busy night. The stranger on the street that you complimented. The little kid you waved to. The old woman you made small talk with. All these people you’ve happily given your time and energy to, love you. Why? Because you're lovable. You are and always were worthy of love, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. It’s okay, we live and we learn through this process of growth from the people and experiences that we go through. There are no shortcuts to take,  that’s all we can do. You’ll find someone worthy to love you. Someone who remembers the way you take your coffee, but because they know you’re not a morning person. Someone who knows everything about you, eager to learn more about your every like and dislike. Someone who makes you want to be the best version of yourself, supporting you no matter what. Someone who recognizes the way you say their name differently and your correlating mood. Someone that is so accustomed to your voice that they can even detect the slightest change in pitch. That's love. Love is continually showing up for your person, no matter what. You’ve mastered this though, have you not? People do love you and you give them every reason to. You are so loved regardless of feeling unlovable. I can promise you that. Written by: Helena Poe and Brianna Stuart

Sometimes I catch myself being ashamed of how much I've cared for people, but then I have to remind myself that they lost someone who cared, not me. Caring- it's typically difficult for idiosyncratic individuals to admit because caring is being vulnerable, and being vulnerable is allowing yourself to be completely open and exposed. Prepared to get hurt, prepared to give all of yourself to someone who may never reciprocate the same energy or effort or emotions towards you that you have given them. Showing someone how much you value them, despite their faults, without knowing if they have the same intentions towards you is terrifying. I tend to stop and think, "Why do I continue to feel embarrassed for caring?" But once I continue to think about it, I held empathy, I held love. How could one be so embarrassed of something so wonderful? If anything, I find myself contemplating the embarrassment that I should hold for them, for they did not care, they did not treat me in the same way that I had treated them. They did not respect me or my time, they didn't reciprocate the love that I had given them, they truly didn't care about me, and that ... that is on them. I used to try to change the way I felt, push all my feelings down somewhere and ignore them all but ultimately, you cannot change your heart just because someone failed to appreciate the value of it; you can only choose who deserves the love that you give. Instead of fearing the copious amounts of love that you convey, find comfort in the fact that you have so much love to give, and that in itself is a wonderful thing, and be wise with who you give your heart to. Caring for someone, giving them your all without knowing or expecting anything in return is one of the most beautiful things. It is truly better to have cared and have gotten hurt than to not have cared at all. Embrace who you are. Love who you can. Open your heart. Big hearts break easily, but they also love immensely. And that is the loveliest thing.

It's impossible to avoid change. While we can all try to escape it, ultimately change occurs and we must adapt to it. Many of us have this ingrained anxiety that change is this terrible, awful thing because it is unknown. We, as humans, rather know what’s coming, what to expect. Change is a difficult thing to get used to. New chapters come and go and with that, people come and go. And it’s painful to accept that certain things and people are transient. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. Whatever new chapter your entering is more significant than the brief discomfort it causes. Sometimes we are simply victims of life. Change occurs whether or not we want it to, despite our best efforts to resist it. As we develop and evolve, our circumstances change, we grow, and the subsequent new chapter in life starts. As someone who naturally fears change, I tend to be inherently anxious when it comes to a new chapter in my life beginning.  But, now, I can recognize how beautiful new chapters can be and I’ve become so appreciative of the past ones. You see, every chapter of your life has helped to shape the person you are today. Everything you’ve gone though- the good, the bad, the ugly, has led you to where you are. And that it in itself is a wonderful thing. Everything will fall into place, enjoy this new chapter in it’s entirety. It’s a beautiful thing. 

Human evolution does not occur at the same rate or under the same conditions as one another. The interpretations or meanings that people give to particular situations or occurrences vary from person to person, just like life experiences do. What is comfortable is what we cling to. Because we cling so tenaciously, we merge with it. Then we find ways to anesthetize the pain and discomfort.  We feel a sense of ownership over both it and ourselves, even if it no longer makes us grow. Comfortability has a hold on us. The thing about comfort is that it convinces us anything outside of it is too foreign to accept. There is no room for anything outside of it. Anything outside of it is beyond our comprehension. Our bodies and our minds are aware that growth requires moving beyond familiar boundaries. If the things we belong to no longer serve our growth and we still force ourselves to stay, then we have forced ourselves to shrink. We have forced ourselves to fit into places that our roots have grown past. It’s okay to evolve, expand, grow out of the things that no longer suit you. Don’t shrink yourself just because you’re comfortable. 

Your love isn’t “too much,” it has always been enough. But you’re giving your all to the wrong people and that’s why you keep getting hurt. You’re ability to love comes from within you, you can love deeply because you’re you. Don’t pour yourself into people who don’t pour themselves into you. Find new people, good people who not only appreciate your love but return it. You cannot make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don’t appreciate. Remember. Your life should revolve around those who stay. Around those who genuinely want to love you. Those who genuinely care. Forget the ones who break their promises. Forget the ones who show you no compassion. No loyalty. It’s harsh to say. And it hurts to think about. But you have to give all your energy to those who are real with you. Learning where and who to give your energy to is much more significant than you may think. If you pour all of your love into someone who doesn’t recognize how valuable and remarkable you are then you’ll lose yourself in the process. One day you’ll stumble upon the love that you deserve. But until then, be careful with whom you give your love to.